After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
