I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
