i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
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