She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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