Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I deserve this hangover.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
