I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
