i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
