I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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