oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
