my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
