I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
