The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
