We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
