i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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