Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
