apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
