Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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