you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
