I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
