yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
