I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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