For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
even my farts smell like vagina
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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