I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
