Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
