And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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