Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
