glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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