I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
