Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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