Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
