Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
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