I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
