What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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