So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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