no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
So many bounce houses so little time
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
