Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
