so explain again why im purple
no
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
