Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
