All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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