Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
