remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
