I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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