We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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