I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
