If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
