I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
