yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
