And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
