i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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