I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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