i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
