I'm laying in your front yard are you home
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
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