her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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